Talk to the Universe

My mother loved me, and she listened to me. But not always understood me. She thought that I talked too much and that I was boring. She told me so. Many times along my childhoold. She also thought that everyone except her found me annoying. So I was supposed to only talk to her. She was the only one that had enough patience to endure my annoying thoughts. Because she was my mother and it was her duty and her fate. 

My father didn't love me. Or like me. He actually kind of hated me. And he always found what I had to say annoying. Enough to beat the shit out of me. Just to see if I could keep my mouth shut and avoid thinking by myself and annoy him.

I know that most people find me annoying. I talk too much. I am passionate about what I talk, and I seem to be obsessed with things. If I like something, I want to know more, I need to know more because I am curious and I start. I investigate. I read. I find out about things. I try to understand. And I don't leave it until I understand it. Then I have the need to talk about it with other people. Share. Help others understand what I just figured out. That is not good. Most people are not interested at all on what I have to say, or on what I have discovered. They are just polite and listen. But at some point they are profoundly bored and they start to yawn. And perhaps they feel they are wasting their time listening to me.
So I decided to write about what I find. Writing is safe. If I write, only people that are actually interested in the things I am interested will read the things I write. And I won't be humiliated by someone yawning at me and being bored because I am talking too much about something they have no interest at all. I will also avoid the terrible sense of shame that gets me when something like that happens. I feel ashamed. I feel that I have gone too far, I talk too much and nobody is interested. I feel that I haven't been compassionate with others, and that I have been annoying them. And that is to be cruel. I don't want to be cruel. I don't want to annoy others. I want to say what I need to say, and I hope someone finds it useful, helpful or just interesting. That's all.